Thankfulness and wistfulness

This Thanksgiving was exceptionally wonderful in our home. We hosted this year, which is new for us, but expected given that of the six grandchild of the martriarch of our family, I am the only girl. I knew the passing of the torch was coming and it made sense given that I have the larger number of people to load up and get places. In addition, my brothers were all home. We've spent a couple years now with family members away for the holidays, but this time, everyone was here....at least that's what the entire famiy kept saying. Don't get me wrong, I joined in the laughter, chaos, and confusion as 24 people shoved their way into a home that was designed as practical living space, not enteritaining space, but to me, there was still someone missing, in fact, two someones. The truth is, I should have a bouncy 18 month old little girl all caught up in the excitement. She should be on tiptoes trying to snatch cookies from the table. She should be swinging around in her uncle's arms with the other three, but this is not my first Thanksgiving longing for her either. There's another truth to point out, we had a baby due 10 days before Thanksgiving. He wasn't there being fawned over and passed around. I just have to keep thinking next year, next year we will have our baby home for Thanksgiving, but the real truth is, there will ALWAYS be people missing now. I'm thankful, ever so thankful, for my three children here and my son growing stronger inside every day, but I'll always be a bit wistful for what should be....