Recovery

Ryan and I have found that we have to rely on each other.  We must learn on each other, always, and above all else. Sometimes, it can be ugly and painful.  Other times, its exactly what we thought things would be like when we got married.  We never imagined our lives would go down this path and we most certainly didn't ask for it or plan for it.  However, we made a vow to love each other no matter what came our way.  So, that's what we do.  We are making it.  Minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, and month by month.  I'd like to say that the worst is behind us.  I'd like to say it's all downhill from here.  I know that in April, a new wave of grief will come, as we celebrate her first birthday in Heaven, taking balloons to the cemetery, instead of watching her dive into a cake.  As we approach Christmas, I look at the gift we had already purchased for her, back in March.  As we wait and wait for news on a rainbow baby, each failed month a sting to our fragile hearts.  We will make it!  We will speak it into existence.  We will keep our family together, happy, and as whole as we can, sharing our love between children on Earth and a daughter in Heaven. We will bring a rainbow into our world.  We will lean on each other and uphold our sacred vows.  We will! <3