Magical Powers

I didn't know when I began writing this blog what direction it would eventually take. It started as a way to remeber my journey with McKenna. Then, it grew to celebrating the new life of David. After we lost him, it changed to a place to express the jouney that child loss takes. Now, it is a place to share and remember the entire journey: The mountains I have climbed, the clouds I have walked on, the places were I soared, and the moments my family and friends had to carry me. Its a place for my children to one day look back when they are struggling and remember our walk together. Its a place were friends and family can see that my thankfulness goes beyond any words i can say to them. It's a place of hope! 

Being a single mom for awhile and then being the primary parent at home after Ryan and I married, my kids rely on me above all others. They know I'll be the one to feed them, transport them here there and everywhere, help them feel better, cuddle them through nightmares, and love them above all else.  Coming with that, my kids believe I have magical powers. In spite of shortcomings, to them, I am Super Woman. It's fun to taunt my husband with this, but I wanted to understand their thinking.

 Now, I've never been one to hide much from my kids. I shield them where I can, but if they ask, they will get an on honest answer. They asked how babies were made, they got a watered down G-rated truth. My now seven year old at five demanded the truth on Santa. Knowing that the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy would also lose their magic, I handed her the truth and begged her not to tell. She still hasn't. When they asked why their father and I are no longer married they got a g-rated version of the words infedility and abuse. When they asked why we lost two babies they were told that some babies get sick and die and it's sad, but it's true.  I will shield them by not pointing out when their father fails to show up or when something disappointing but not life altering happens, but if they ask they will hear the truth. You may not agree with my style, but for us, it works. My children,in turn, are honest to a fault. They can't keep secrets, they don't lie, and they don't cheat because they know its the same as lying. 

Because of my need for them to know the truth and their ability to always tell the truth, I sat down with my seven year old to explain that I was not really magical. Her response was simple, "Oh, I know that. But you CAN do anything". I explained that no, I couldn't do everything. She looked at me and said "Life has been really hard lately, but you keep going and have always been the best mommy in the world. You love three of us here and two in Heaven. That's a lot of work, but you do it." I kissed her goodnight, slipped into my room and bawled. 

Yes Kayla, it is a lot of work to parent Earthly children and Heavenly children, but the daily reminders of my many blessing is what gives me my "magical powers". I have been blessed. Abundantly blessed!