I Look For You

My Sweet McKenna,
   We visited you yesterday, as we do so many Sundays.  Today we went to remove the special things from around your stone that your brothers and sister have picked out.  We will put them back in the spring.  That tiny butterfly landed there on your flowers again, and Daddy said, "There's McKenna." We look for you there.  On Friday, Daddy and I went to a concert.  We were way up high in the stands, nearer to you than we have been before.  Remember that song you loved and every time it came on the radio you kicked away?  It was so odd to me, but it woke you up, every time!  They played that song.  I looked up, wondering if you could hear the concert up there in Heaven (even though at that time of night you should have been asleep in your tiny crib).  I looked up to the cloud covered sky and even with the moon blocked out by clouds, there was one single star shinning bright.  I looked for you.  Three days will mark the time when you have been in Heaven longer than you were in my tummy growing.  I know these milestones as I move through my days. Sometimes I silently accept them, sometimes I talk to Daddy about them, and sometimes the tears come and seem never ending.  Every day, I watch the sunrise as I drive East.  I look at the clouds noting the different shapes and I look for you.  Each and every day you are not here with me, I look for you.  Someday I know you will help God pick the day to send us a rainbow.  I know you look over your little brother or sister and smile at our joy, but know, my tiny girl, you will never ever be forgotten!  I love you endlessly!

Love,
Mommy