The waiting and questions

I am writing this continuation of our story during what is called the "two week wait" period after trying to conceive. We want a baby so badly and a negative test is so depressing and brings all the painful things back and always is followed by loads of tears. I am struggling especially today, thinking of certain people who are pregnant and how painful it is to be around them. No one understands this and thinks I am very selfish for feeling this way. Maybe I am, but I also feel like I have paid the ultimate price and my feelings are very delicate. I wish I had some understanding and compassion in this area from those around me. Anyhow, our story continues....
We were set up with a Maternal Fetal Medicine doctor, in other words, the specialist. We were sent to OSU, 5 days after our tragic ultrasound. I complain our two week wait is difficult, but nothing was as difficult as that wait. I went to work like normal, shuttled kids around like normal, cared for my house like normal, and yet felt like the world was pressing me down. I researched like crazy. I found a picture during this time that said "A worried mother does more research than the FBI". It was true! I stayed up late reading everything, most of it crushing my hope and bringing me to tears and nightmares. During this time I found a support group through Facebook, that became my lifeline. The only people who really understood my nightmare. (I'll write more on that later.) When Monday came we went to our MFM appointment. We had to be there at 8:00am. We arrived early and sat watching a crazy video about people who carrying around lifelike baby dolls after a loss. We laughed a little, never realizing how real that pain could be and how it really can push you into craziness. (I'd like to note that I still have never carried around a doll, but I totally see how it can be such an emotionally breaking experience that people would.) They called us into our ultrasound at 8:00 and we began an appointment that would last 5 1/2 hours and rip through our emotions like Hurricane Katrina! The tech did the ultrasound, saying very little but printing pictures of her. We saw her beautiful spine, the cutest little butt, perfect toes, perfect hands, tiny little face. She was so perfect, surely this was all a silly mistake, she was fine and the tech was not talking because she couldn't find anything concerning. WRONG! She left after handing us tons of pictures that we looked at. Next came a counselor. She asked us if we knew what problems might arise. She talked about genetic issues, but said the doctor would be in, she just wanted to prepare us for the possibilities. I'm not sure how much time passed after she left. For us, it was an eternity. I cried and Ryan seemed angry and confused. Why would this woman do this to us when no one knows what is wrong? Next came the doctor and he did another ultrasound and after putting the wand back he looked at me and said these words I'll never forget, "I see some things that concern me. Babies like this just don't make it. Their hearts stop beating in the womb. I'll see you back next week." What?! We then were sent to see a genetics counselor who explained that there are 3 major chromosomal defects that can cause what we had learned was called "cystic hygroma" and "hydrops". Such foreign words, so foreign I couldn't remember them to repeat them to family. She went through our family history and could not "red flag" any issues. They told us we should terminate the pregnancy. They left us in rooms to cry and kept suffering us around so that other people would t see our sadness. Then they did an amniocentesis to determine the cause. The results came in the next day! She passed all her tests! She could live a normal life and yet they still said "we still offer to terminate the pregnancy" Why and how could we do that to our little girl, who passed her tests, had a name, had clothes and books waiting for her, and moved all the time?!