Thursday, August 23, 2012

The End of a Chapter

Today, August 23, 2012 our precious baby girl was due to make her entrance into this world.  In reality, she would have been here a little over a week ago, but nonetheless, this day is still difficult.  However, I am ready to close this chapter of milestones and look forward to celebrating her birthday instead.  There won't be a day in my life that I won't have a heavy heart, but I am choosing to celebrate her short life instead of grieve for what I have lost. 

To continue our story....Many people didn't know, but McKenna was planned.  We were trying for her.  We tried for 5 months and stopped trying.  We decided to take a break.  That's when I got pregnant!  On December 12, 2011, I went to work like normal.  Glancing at my calendar on my way to work, I discovered I should have a new cycle starting.  I waited all day for that and it never came.  I knew!  I stopped at the store on my way home to buy a test.  I discreetly took it as soon as I got home.  In seconds I got a BIG FAT POSITIVE.  With shaking hands, I went about my plan.  I have bought a baby bottle months before to surprise Ryan with our news.  I grabbed the bottle and filled it with his sweet tea.  I went into the bedroom and told him I got him a drink and handed him the baby bottle.  He looked at me completely confused.  I said, "I thought you might want to learn how to use one of these."  He was still confused and in my head I was saying, "Wait for it..."  Then just like that it clicked and he jumped up and hugged me.  He was so happy!  He kept asking me questions and hugging me and following me around.  Finally, I had the pregnancy that was the way it was "supposed to be"!  We were so happy!

We started telling people right away.  Some people were very happy, some people a little sceptic.  The sceptics quickly became happy.  It was perfect!  Ryan called every morning he was gone to see how I was feeling and was so attentive.  In January, we went for our first appointment.  We were so surprised because they decided to do an ultrasound.  We got to see our little gummy bear!  What a wonderful day!  The baby looked great! We started buying things and making plans.  Things continued as normal, until March 28, the day we were waiting for for so long...the day we would find out she was our so desired little princess, but also the day we found out the news that changed our lives FOREVER...

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