As your seven month angelversary came and went and no one said a word to me I realized that the rest of the world is starting to forget. Not forget you, just forget the days that are difficult. The 25th of every month doesn't creep in on others and put that stinging behind their eyes that forces them to fight to breath so that tears don't spill down their cheeks. No, my girl, that only happens to your mama. That's ok though. I know you wouldn't want others to feel that way. I know you don't want me to feel that way, but I'm your mama.
Your sister and brothers and I hung the stockings and I found yours. The stocking I had picked out last year, because even at 8 weeks, I knew you were a girl. I tucked it away in hopes you'd have a little sister one day to use it. When I was hiding your sister and brothers' Christmas gifts I found the dog I had bought you in March to give to you this Christmas. Daddy bought an angel to put in the yard for you and we got a tiny purple tree, just for you. we made our annual photo book and it kills me that tour whole life fits on a two page spread. On Thanksgiving Day I found the bib that said "My 1st Thanksgiving" that each of my babies wore and you should have to. I accept these things with quiet frustration. The world is not a fair place, baby. I was supposed to have a happy near four month old right now. I miss you so much these days!
No comments:
Post a Comment